[BLOG] Saying Stupid Things To Girls, How I View The World. And Lady Style Tips…

Hey there folks.

I am en route back to freezing cold Colorado and a very funny little exchange just went on in the row in front of me.

First off, I got upgraded to United First which is always a treat and not something that happens all that often–so we are 4 people per row, 2 on each side of the plane.

The two people in front of me have been chatting the whole flight, from when we sat down, up until just now as I am writing this. They clearly are not a couple, as they both came in at different times and are also WAY too into their conversation to have known each other for very long. The man is in his late 40s, the woman in her late 30s. Neither of the two have rings on. The man has been delving deep into what he does and what he loves; he is a good talker, and a quality story teller. The lady’s legs are crossed towards him, and she is leaning on the middle island just eating up everything he is saying. Based off of body language alone, she definitely digs him. I would say that he digs her too as he keeps chit-chatting away.

Just a couple minutes ago the stewardess was coming around offering a choice in mid-flight snack. The choice being either a chicken pasta salad or a turkey sandwich. When she got to row 5, with the chit-chatty future lovers something really interesting happened.

Since the man was sitting at the window, she asked him first: “Hi sir, we are offering either a chicken pasta salad or turkey sandwich on today’s flight. What would you like?’

The man, who had been using big words the whole flight and asking meaningful questions to the nice lady next to him, paused and responded with: “Hmm. What is a turkey sandwich?”

This man is very obviously American, he is not foreign in any way shape or form. How could he not know what a turkey sandwich is?!?! My best guess was that he was stuck in ‘intriguing’ mode and it just backfired. He is probably nervous, and wanting to appear smart and like-able to his potential future mate. I can definitely relate with saying really random stupid things, especially in front of girls. But, ‘what is a turkey sandwich?’ That is legendary… I’m sure there are some Euros out there who don’t know what a turkey sandwich might be, but Americanos? No way. Turkey sandwiches are like a staple of American culture. You don’t know what a Turkey sandwich is and Bill O’Reilly will personally come find you and ream you out for being un-American.

Anyway, the stewardess’ response was classic. Un-fazed, completely deadpan she says: “It is a sandwich, on bread.”

To that the man replied: “Ok, I’ll get one of those.” This made it clear to me that he asked the question not really caring about the answer, only to put on some sort of a front. Strange tactics bro. Strange! The chick still digs you though.

I just watched and observed this whole transaction with widening eyes. People are so fascinating!

OH SNAP! UPDATE!

A rather chubby little kid in a Santa hat just rolled up here to say hey to the lady…who I would guess is his momma. For a second I thought the two people were together and that my whole blog was going to have to be thrown away. But no! Mom says a few words to the boy then INTRODUCES Santa Jr. to the kind man she is sitting with.

FASCINATING. Did that child just meet his future step dad for the first time? Wowza… I wish I could just creep on these people for the rest of the day! What does that say about my life…? Am I that boring? Hmm…

Oh, also. I would like to give all the ladies out there a little style tip. The woman next to me is around 35 and fairly attractive. She is dressed in a nice sweater with a decent jacket, and well fitting jeans. BUT. On her feet she has these beige mountain hiking shoes. This lady doesn’t have a ring on her finger, and gives off the vibe that she is still searching for that Prince Charming to finally save her from her own ticking clock. If only she changed those shoes!!! Ladies, I know hiking boots are comfy, but they are for HIKING. If and more importantly *when* you dress up for the airport, leave those bad boys at home. There are plenty of cheap and understated casual shoes that one can rock through an airport, just do some digging (not literally, digging would require something similar to hiking boots). That actually reminds me of a cute blonde girl yesterday who was on my flight from Vegas to San Fran wearing a well cut woman’s suit coat, True Religion jeans, and PINK SOCKS WITH ADIDAS SANDALS. Upon initial viewing I had the urge to go up and start up a convo but after seeing those feet! I ran, I ran so far away. Just like Flock of Seagulls.

So there you go. Take it or leave it. This is how I view the world.

Fellas, have you ever said anything incredibly dim-witted in front of a lady you were trying to impress? Share some of your own stories in the comments below, I’d love to read them!

22 Comments

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22 responses to “[BLOG] Saying Stupid Things To Girls, How I View The World. And Lady Style Tips…

  1. Sharon

    Taylor that story about the couple was hysterical! I have to tell you that my guy friends were bashing when attractive women have a great outfit on and then UGG boots on their feet! They said they’re hideous and just as bad as CROCS! They don’t belong out of the house 🙂 ha! Too funny!
    I just got my first pair of UGG slippers and they’re amazingly warm, but not very attractive. Love your blog!
    Safe travels and a Merry Christmas!
    Sharon in NJ

  2. David

    Perhaps the lady sitting next to you chose to wear the largest pair of shoes that she will need at her destination (hiking in Colorado?), leaving more room in her suitcase for her tasteful shoes and that little black dress that you now will never see her wear.

  3. Ellie

    I’ll play a little devils advocate here….women’s feet and shoe choices.
    Maybe…the lady on the flight is going hiking and simply didn’t have the room in her luggage to wear something more fashion forward? Maybe some people have foot issues – and require a heavier shoe for comfort…I’m just sayin….and yes, maybe they are just foolish choices – but just a reminder that sometimes they are necessary choices (and not geared to concern about what a guy thinks)…..just a thought.
    I’m still twisted up over the turkey sandwich question. Again, as devil’s advocate – perhaps he was questioning what an airline defines as a turkey sandwich – as compared to what Mom made.
    Since I’ve spent a few years on this planet, and been a therapist for some of it and a wife for many of it….things are not always as they may appear. It’s sometimes good to take that moment and use your imagination as to the “why for’s” when you see people doing stupid things. Then again – people do ALOT of stupid things as well. But – it’s an exercise that builds curiousity as well as compassion. Still – loved the post Taylor..

  4. Capt’n dim wit here, as a former GO for club med (check your wikipedia kids, I just turned 30) I can’t count the lame sh*t I’ve said to women trying to get… well you know, in the saddle. Taylor love the blog, if you’re ever in Miami look me up on twitter. I was a chef in this city for 6 years and know many Latina hostesses that can show you around, trust me in this city all the ladies (and some times guys, watch out!) know what to put on their feet.

  5. linda

    Love it. I do agree with the comment that the hiking boots may have had no room in the luggage. I travel a lot, and have caught myself out having to wear my running shoes because the other five pair took up so much room!

  6. james

    Hey, I’ve actually changed into my hiking boots from a pair of lightweight running shoes for a flight as my bag was over weight.
    A well worn pair of hiking boots and jeans do go well together too.

  7. Derek

    One if my buddies was bar tending one night at a restaurant bar and as a hot lady sat down to have a drink his what will you have or where are you from got lost in the abyss as he calmly asked her: where do you hail from?

    It might not have been so bad except as it was a slow night there were three of us servers hanging out watching tv at the bar and we all started laughing at him.

  8. Swing Trader

    Dude,

    It all boils down to shoes. I’m old enough to be your father and I know. Here’s another one: hands. Hands tell the whole story. If a woman looks thirty five, but the hands look fifty, she’s fifty. I have experience.

  9. Kathie

    At a restaurant…
    Boy: I’ll have a burger and fries
    Waitress: Do you want regular or seasoned fries?
    Boy: What’s the difference?
    Waitress: One has seasoning.
    Boy: Oh, yeah right, I knew that…I just panicked

  10. Most of what I say to women is rubbish! I did once walk into a lamp post looking at a girl.

    Great blog, by the way, haven’t slept and you’re as good as a coffee.

  11. Mateo

    Hi Taylor. Enjoy your writings & musings; keep it up as they bring a smile to my face. Thought I’d pass along that my lovely girlfriend has been known to wear her hiking boots whilst airborne because those damn things are heavy! She’d rather wear those than put them on with her checked luggage, which would mean sacrificing crucial space that could be used for other, more attractive clothing and/or footwear. Not a bad solution, me thinks. And you?
    Happy holidays to you and your family! Enjoy the snow that we’re getting here tonight along the front range. And best of luck next season!

  12. Matt

    My buddy had the hots for a prim and proper girl in college. He was far from proper but lead her to believe he was for about a month…until the beer and shots were flowing one night and she showed up. She ran up to him to say hi and he replied, “I got a boner that won’t quit!”. She never talked to him again.

  13. Von

    Haha “intriguing mode” – such a good description. Love your post, people watching is the best.
    Hey, you should try walking a mile in awesome looking female shoes before you judge. I feel like the better looking the shoe, the worse they feel. :p I always go comfort over looks – especially with shoes – and I know it looks crap, but I’d rather be comfortable than feel like I’m walking on knives for the next 24 hours. Although socks with sandals is pretty full on. Take care, hope you had a good Christmas.

  14. Don’t let the womenfolk know that we judge them by their footwear. It’s one of the only few things we have left up our sleeves. Just found your blog and you’ve got a fan from the Philippines.

  15. DW

    Give me a girl in hiking boots anyday. She probably is more into hiking than shopping.

  16. R. Trinkner

    I’ve flown a lot in my life, and remember the first (and last) time I thought I’d dress up for the flight to be an elegant transcontinental flyer. I wore my favorite tie, pressed shirt, jacket, slacks, etc. I was flying from Korea to Boston, so this was a long series of flights. I was styling. But 10 minutes into the first leg, the drinks service started, and the stewardess tripped and poured a quart of milk on my jacket, shirt, tie, slacks, socks, and shoes. The milk box literally bounced down my chest, to my slacks, and on to my shoes where it landed, nearly empty. I went the rest of the voyage smelling like day-old milk.

    I rode the farmland of north Boulder yesterday (Monday, midday) and was feeling pretty good about my ride until some tallish, thin, pro-looking guy in an aero-tuck on what looked like a TT bike passed me on 36 north of Broadway like I was standing still. Was that you, Taylor? If so, well done! Even though I’m a just a mangy old guy, I was seriously humbled.

    • I wish I could say that was me… Cheers for the story!! My protocol now on long flights is to look good going in, and after the meal I put some sweatpants on…then just before we land I get all good-looking again!

  17. GR

    For sure Hiking boots meant something.

    Like she digs outdoors, or just trying to get a XC mountainbiker, and not some DH extreme king of guy. X-Terra chicks are more funny than regular tri ones. (They love to get dirty)…

    Or just she has an ugly tatoo. Or horrible feet. Or they just got stuck, like “Stink Foot” on Frank Zappa’s Apostrophe Album.

    Anyway, great post.

    GR.

  18. Nic

    Totally late to this one – One time we were in Chiang Mai, in this sort of mall complex of a thing that was full of bars, and a big ring set up in the middle with kickboxing and drag queens miming. What a place!

    So anyway, there we were drinking beers and watching the culture unfold around us, and this girl came and sat down at the table next to us, started chatting, brought drinks over, etc. All good – she was backpacking round Thailand as well, on her ownsome. Somehow the conversation drifted to what we learned in school, and for some reason I thought it’d be hugely entertaining (for me, perhaps) to provide an historical analysis of the chronology of the second world war – which was as great in length as it was dull in content (…) Shortly thereafter the lady gave her polite parting remarks, and my mate was near doubled over laughing at my “chatting up” abilities.

    Lesson learned – Unless they’re wearing thick glasses and found in libraries, girls don’t care about history!

  19. Chrissy

    Reblogged this on Hot Men Hot Spots – Austin, Texas and commented:
    Who says no one’s watching?

    As I’ve written in a previous blog post (see Relationship Tip #5), you never know who’s falling in love with you. While I don’t believe that looks are everything, they are at least a start.

    Here it is from an observant man’s point-of-view. Granted, Taylor Phinney is young, but a man nonetheless. I found his post worthy of reblogging because it’s a playful, well-written reminder that sometimes details make a difference.

    Scroll down and read some of the comments. There’s a bit of good perspective there too.

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