Hey there folks.
I am en route back to freezing cold Colorado and a very funny little exchange just went on in the row in front of me.
First off, I got upgraded to United First which is always a treat and not something that happens all that often–so we are 4 people per row, 2 on each side of the plane.
The two people in front of me have been chatting the whole flight, from when we sat down, up until just now as I am writing this. They clearly are not a couple, as they both came in at different times and are also WAY too into their conversation to have known each other for very long. The man is in his late 40s, the woman in her late 30s. Neither of the two have rings on. The man has been delving deep into what he does and what he loves; he is a good talker, and a quality story teller. The lady’s legs are crossed towards him, and she is leaning on the middle island just eating up everything he is saying. Based off of body language alone, she definitely digs him. I would say that he digs her too as he keeps chit-chatting away.
Just a couple minutes ago the stewardess was coming around offering a choice in mid-flight snack. The choice being either a chicken pasta salad or a turkey sandwich. When she got to row 5, with the chit-chatty future lovers something really interesting happened.
Since the man was sitting at the window, she asked him first: “Hi sir, we are offering either a chicken pasta salad or turkey sandwich on today’s flight. What would you like?’
The man, who had been using big words the whole flight and asking meaningful questions to the nice lady next to him, paused and responded with: “Hmm. What is a turkey sandwich?”
This man is very obviously American, he is not foreign in any way shape or form. How could he not know what a turkey sandwich is?!?! My best guess was that he was stuck in ‘intriguing’ mode and it just backfired. He is probably nervous, and wanting to appear smart and like-able to his potential future mate. I can definitely relate with saying really random stupid things, especially in front of girls. But, ‘what is a turkey sandwich?’ That is legendary… I’m sure there are some Euros out there who don’t know what a turkey sandwich might be, but Americanos? No way. Turkey sandwiches are like a staple of American culture. You don’t know what a Turkey sandwich is and Bill O’Reilly will personally come find you and ream you out for being un-American.
Anyway, the stewardess’ response was classic. Un-fazed, completely deadpan she says: “It is a sandwich, on bread.”
To that the man replied: “Ok, I’ll get one of those.” This made it clear to me that he asked the question not really caring about the answer, only to put on some sort of a front. Strange tactics bro. Strange! The chick still digs you though.
I just watched and observed this whole transaction with widening eyes. People are so fascinating!
OH SNAP! UPDATE!
A rather chubby little kid in a Santa hat just rolled up here to say hey to the lady…who I would guess is his momma. For a second I thought the two people were together and that my whole blog was going to have to be thrown away. But no! Mom says a few words to the boy then INTRODUCES Santa Jr. to the kind man she is sitting with.
FASCINATING. Did that child just meet his future step dad for the first time? Wowza… I wish I could just creep on these people for the rest of the day! What does that say about my life…? Am I that boring? Hmm…
Oh, also. I would like to give all the ladies out there a little style tip. The woman next to me is around 35 and fairly attractive. She is dressed in a nice sweater with a decent jacket, and well fitting jeans. BUT. On her feet she has these beige mountain hiking shoes. This lady doesn’t have a ring on her finger, and gives off the vibe that she is still searching for that Prince Charming to finally save her from her own ticking clock. If only she changed those shoes!!! Ladies, I know hiking boots are comfy, but they are for HIKING. If and more importantly *when* you dress up for the airport, leave those bad boys at home. There are plenty of cheap and understated casual shoes that one can rock through an airport, just do some digging (not literally, digging would require something similar to hiking boots). That actually reminds me of a cute blonde girl yesterday who was on my flight from Vegas to San Fran wearing a well cut woman’s suit coat, True Religion jeans, and PINK SOCKS WITH ADIDAS SANDALS. Upon initial viewing I had the urge to go up and start up a convo but after seeing those feet! I ran, I ran so far away. Just like Flock of Seagulls.
So there you go. Take it or leave it. This is how I view the world.
Fellas, have you ever said anything incredibly dim-witted in front of a lady you were trying to impress? Share some of your own stories in the comments below, I’d love to read them!